Social Intelligence

You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings. You understand why they do things.

What is Social Intelligence?

Social intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand and manage interpersonal relationships. It is distinct from a person’s IQ or “book smarts.” It includes an individual’s ability to understand, and act on, the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of other people. This type of intelligence can take place “in the moment” of face-to-face conversations but also appears during times of deliberate thinking.

It involves emotional intelligence and self-awareness. Examples of social intelligence include knowing when to talk or listen, what to say, and what to do. Timing is a big part of social intelligence. For example, someone who is imperceptive may tell a funny joke — but at the wrong time or not show enough interest when meeting someone new.

Virtue: Humanity. Strengths of humanity involve caring interpersonal relationships with others, particularly in one-to-one relationships. Strengths comprised in this virtue are love, kindness, and social intelligence.

Individuals with this strength might be described as attuned, understanding, aware, insightful, empathetic, or as good listener.

The content on this page is written for adults — and the character card linked below is our Grades 9–12 version. Our curriculum is differentiated by grade level, from Pre-K–12. Request free lessons to get a closer look at how P2 teaches character strengths across grade levels.

Individuals with this strength are likely to think, feel, or behave in the following ways:

I understand other people and their emotions.

I intuitively grasp what people want and why they want it.

I understand my own thoughts, feelings, and motivations.

I am skilled at getting people to cooperate with each other.

I can always tell when someone is uncomfortable at a party.

Why does social intelligence matter?

Social intelligence helps individuals build relationships — and is important to numerous aspects of a person’s life. It allows an individual to form friendships and alliances. And, it assists a person against being taken advantage of. People with social intelligence can “read” other people’s faces and know what motivates them. Social intelligence builds over time and as a person ages. In this sense, it is similar to the character strength of perspective.

On a group level, social intelligence is what allows us to function as humans. We are social beings and rely on each other’s cooperation. By understanding ourselves and other people, we can find ways to collaborate for mutual benefit. Strong leaders often possess social intelligence in abundance. In order to motivate people, leaders must form relationships and inspire others to want to do what needs to be done.

Quotes on Social Intelligence

“The single most important lesson I learned in 25 years of talking every single day to people, was that there’s a common denominator in our human experience. The common denominator I found in every single interview is we want to be validated. We want to be understood.”

- Oprah Winfrey

“When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say.”

- Abraham Lincoln

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

- Maya Angelou

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

- Ernest Hemingway

Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

You notice and value the world’s beauty and people’s skills. You don’t take things for granted.

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