Self-Control

You have the ability to control your emotions and behaviors. You think before you act.

What is Self-Control?

Self-control is the act of managing behavior in a way that positively influences goal attainment and living up to standards. Possessing this strength protects people from destabilizing emotional extremes. Those with self-control are able to limit impulsive behavior. They have the ability to experience and navigate difficulty while remaining poised. They understand that through discipline and restraint, there are greater, long-term goals that they can accomplish. 

Self-control is related to prudence, in that people with this strength are able to implement extended planning techniques in pursuit of difficult task completion. Self-control does not mean a lack of thoughts, feelings, or impulses; it just means you have command over them.

Virtue: Temperance. Strengths of temperance protect us from excess. Strengths comprised in this virtue are forgiveness, humility, prudence, and self-control.

Individuals with this strength might be described as disciplined, poised, composed, cool, calm, or restrained.


The content on this page is written for adults — and the character card linked below is our Grades 9–12 version. Our curriculum is differentiated by grade level, from Pre-K–12. Request free lessons to get a closer look at how P2 teaches character strengths across grade levels.

Individuals with this strength are likely to think, feel, or behave in the following ways:

Self-Control

I can wait. 

Self-Control
If I do this now, I will benefit from it later.
Self-Control
I’m going to do this, even though I would rather not.
Self-Control
I can control my anger and emotions.
Self-Control
I am disciplined.

Why does self-control matter?

For individuals, self-control helps them delay the short-term gain in pursuit of a greater, long-term success. This strength is associated with having an “internal locus of control;” of being in control of (and responsible for) your own personal choices — and the outcomes of those choices. It gives people the power to diet, study for an exam, or practice a musical instrument. Some psychologists have likened self-control to a muscle: it gets stronger the more it’s used.

A group’s ability to demonstrate self-control often appears in the form of “self-monitoring.” This means that individuals demonstrate honesty with one another about successful group practices. When things are unsuccessful, group members have the ability to adjust roles in the interest of overall group success. It’s a crucial strength in our modern society and its mentality of impulsivity and consumption.

Quotes on Self-Control

“Temperance is a disposition of the mind which binds the passions.”

- Thomas Aquinas

“You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”

- Marcus Aurelius 

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.”

- Jerry Rice  

“The best fighter is never angry.”

- Lao Tzu

Explore more character strengths

You notice and value the world’s beauty and people’s skills. You don’t take things for granted.

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Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence

You notice and value the world’s beauty and people’s skills. You don’t take things for granted.

You act with mental, moral, or physical strength even when you know things are difficult or scary.

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Bravery

You act with mental, moral, or physical strength even when you know things are difficult or scary.

You come up with new and original ways to think about and do things.

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Creativity

You come up with new and original ways to think about and do things.

You like exploration and discovery. You ask lots of questions because you want to learn more about anything and everything.

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Curiosity

You like exploration and discovery. You ask lots of questions because you want to learn more about anything and everything.

You approach life with excitement and energy. You energize people around you.

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Enthusiasm

You approach life with excitement and energy. You energize people around you.

You believe that all people have value. You approach situations with an unbiased mindset and treat everyone with respect.

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Fairness

You believe that all people have value. You approach situations with an unbiased mindset and treat everyone with respect.

You let go of anger toward those who have done wrong. You accept that people make mistakes.

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Forgiveness

You let go of anger toward those who have done wrong. You accept that people make mistakes.

You are aware of and thankful for good things that happen.

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Gratitude

You are aware of and thankful for good things that happen.

You do not seek the spotlight. You let your actions speak for themselves.

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Humility

You do not seek the spotlight. You let your actions speak for themselves.

You like to laugh and bring smiles to other people.

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Humor

You like to laugh and bring smiles to other people.

Your choices reflect your values even when the choice is difficult. You are honest, keep your promises, and present yourself genuinely.

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Integrity

Your choices reflect your values even when the choice is difficult. You are honest, keep your promises, and present yourself genuinely.

You are generous to others and you are never too busy to help out. You enjoy doing good deeds for other people.

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Kindness

You are generous to others and you are never too busy to help out. You enjoy doing good deeds for other people.

You value each member of your group and inspire people to do their best.

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Leadership

You value each member of your group and inspire people to do their best.

You value close relationships with others and being close to people.

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Love

You value close relationships with others and being close to people.

You master new skills and topics on your own or in school.

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Love of Learning

You master new skills and topics on your own or in school.

You like to consider new ideas and try new things. You examine things from all sides and don’t jump to conclusions.

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Open-Mindedness

You like to consider new ideas and try new things. You examine things from all sides and don’t jump to conclusions.

You expect the best from the future and work to achieve it.

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Optimism

You expect the best from the future and work to achieve it.

You complete what you start despite obstacles. You never give up.

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Perseverance

You complete what you start despite obstacles. You never give up.

You appreciate that people see things in different ways. You have the ability to understand the world from multiple points of view.

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Perspective

You appreciate that people see things in different ways. You have the ability to understand the world from multiple points of view.

You plan for the future and achieve your goals by making careful everyday choices.

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Prudence

You plan for the future and achieve your goals by making careful everyday choices.

You have beliefs about the meaning of life and your life’s purpose. You seek to be part of something greater than yourself.

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Purpose

You have beliefs about the meaning of life and your life’s purpose. You seek to be part of something greater than yourself.

You have the ability to control your emotions and behaviors. You think before you act.

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Self-Control

You have the ability to control your emotions and behaviors. You think before you act.

You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings. You understand why they do things.

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Social Intelligence

You are aware of other people’s thoughts and feelings. You understand why they do things.

You work well as a member of a group or team. You are loyal, reliable, and dedicated to helping your team achieve its goals.

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Teamwork

You work well as a member of a group or team. You are loyal, reliable, and dedicated to helping your team achieve its goals.

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P2 for Families gives parents simple, no-prep ways to talk about character strengths with their kids.